Please Don't Make It Real

it was bad..a bad..bad one...

he was so against me making new guy friends.

but yet.........

he made frens with this girl...whom in the end became his SECOND GIRLFRIEND!
yeaps..a scandalous affair it is..
and this girl("ira") was one of my used to be closest friend(Ms B) friend's.

he made plan with me to the mall one fine day...
so we bumped into "ira" & Ms B.
Ms B. was giving me "that one of a kind you deserve it look".
"ira" smiled at him.he was uneasy and quicky pulled me away.
nature's call suddenly and i had to go to the loo..
when i came out..
jeng jeng jeng...................................
............................................................

HELL i was surprised to see "ira" flirting and kissing him..
lovingly...

being me..
went to her straight..pushed her away and confronted her..
"ira" admitted that she knew we were in a relationship..
but she cant help it and fell in love with him too(with the support of Ms B.)

sidetracking a bit k..
Ms B. and I used to be very close fren few years ago.
we slacked together.went shopping together..
well..we're like sisters..
Ms B. likes to contol me..
she hates it went i have more guy frens then her..
so the only way to win me is...
to DEMORALIZE me...
forever being better then me in everything..
so..as years passed by...
we drifted apart...
i couldnt stand her any longer...


and yeah..that's a lil bit bout Ms B.

"ira" then told me that she & him were in a relationship..
& she doesnt give a shit bout me..
Ms B. as usual..likes to make stupid bitchy faces..
arghhh....
it hurts..hurts deeply..

me and him then had our one to one talk...
told him to choose between "ira" or me.
"of course you".he hugged me and kissed me..
wasn't dat apologetic at all..

it just seems that the time suddenly freezed.
he changed..
he became cold.
no love.ignorant.not romantic.no sweet kisses & hugs.
it was nuting...
im like an outsider to him..

hell..
i cried a lot...
called one of his close friend to talk bout this..but he was too tired to listen.
called a close friend of mine..but she was too busy with work..

suddenly...
noone..NOONE was there for me...

the only thing i can do was to cry...
cried...cried...cried....
it was painful...
as if someone was stabbing straight through my heart..

suddenly
my hp rang...&

I woke up......

it was just a horrible dream...
and guessed wat..
my cheeks were wet when i woke up..
bf was on the fone..
told him everything
he told me not to be silly..
but i could nt help but to cry..

i swear...
it hurts badly..
it's like seriously very real..

god pls dun make it a real one...pls...

*******

think it was lepaking session with the gfs & bfs that made me have that dream..
most of our conversations were about BGR and SCANDALOUS AFFAIR...
arghhh...
why ouh why...



i dun ever want to go through this ever ever ever again..
be it in real life or in my dreams.

*i cant remem the name of that gal though...! arrrgghh
but hell yeah i remembered her physical appearance..
f*C* is she ugly!
tall..papan(stick)..typical decent face(nt nerdy ok..)
fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.
i dun wanna talk bout it anymore...
seriously i feel like crying alread..

tissue..tissue!!